nemof.org blog

I will be the first to admit I am an irritable old man. I am crotchety, growl and will bite if prodded, so take what I say with salt; However I ask you what is FUCKING wrong with the world these days? Have people suddenly morphed into super x² fuckin’ morons. I am sick of peoples fucking stupidity, idiocy and self centred-ness.

Here is a perfect example, online dating. I don’t think per-say that there is anything wrong with it, or socializing through social networking websites with the possibility of romance/fuck buddies etc. etc. However a lifehacker happens to ask:

I’ m just curious if any lifehackers out there have any tips on making a better online profile, or any tips to the whole online dating process itself. I mean, we’re all good guys here, what can we do to make sure the ladies will notice??

I happened to reply that:

I have a myspace profile, myspace.com/nemof. I did it completely for fun, and the only tweaking that went on was CSS/Photoshopping, as it was a little project for fun (displays better in Firefox as FF handles pngs better).

I’m not sure what the point of this question is really. If you want to find a partner go to a dating site, it you want an encounter go to somewhere like adult friend finder, it you want to meet like minded people then google for web-forums and sites on a particular thing that interests you to find like minded people.

Whats the point of tweaking your profile till it no-longer says who you are, it’s reflects what you want people to think you are?

And seriously, if you’re gonna spend 3-4 hours tweaking your profile on a dating site, why not turn off your computer. Get up, put your hat on, go down your local pub/club meet some people and socialize, you’re more likely to meet mr/mrs right there than on a 1inch thick 19" wide TFT.

To which someone decided to reply:

Nemo,

A person’s Mr./Mrs. will not necessarily be spending their time at a pub or a club. For some people, the internet is a wonderful place to meet people and socialize.

You, of course, are welcome to continue hitting on the girl at the bar who looks great through your beer goggles.

Now of course this reply is true in saying that Mr/Mrs Right might not be in a pub or club, but he is also being a pedantic fuck. Of course I didn’t just mean fucking pubs, I mean get the fuck out of the house and away from that fucking computer where you are spending so much of your day that you go a strange pink colour. YOU FUCKING MORON. It doesn’t matter where the fuck you go, go for a walk. Go to an Ice-rink, cinema, gig, what-FUCKING-ever YOU PEDANTIC FUCKHEAD.

I’m sick of people not realizing how fucking disconnected the Internet makes them. People talk about it like it’s shit cakes from God’s ass, well it fuckin’ isn’t.

The latest fad - OK they’ve been around for a while, but are still going strong - are social networking sites. We’ve all heard of myspace, beebo, facebook and so on. The thing they have in common is your talking to a screen, not a real person. There is no deep socializing going on there, but people are becoming more and more dependent on these services as their communication mediums.

There is some irony in me writing this in a blog, another form of communicating. However I don’t expect any fucking heart felt comments of understanding, I don’t want your fucking opinion and I don’t give a shit if you read it. I write for me, so you may as well fuck off your cunt.

someone hasn’t had a nice day.

OK, next subject.

Cycle helmets - AKA wear a fucking helmet you FUCKING moron

OK this is something has been bothering me for years, and I know for all the years I have been worrying about it people have dying because of it, WEAR A FUCKING HELMET YOU FUCK-WIT-DEAD-END-SPERM-SHIT-OF-AN-WHORE MORON.

There is no fucking middle ground on this people, if you put your fucking feet on the peddles of a bike then make the fuck sure you have a helmet on because if you don’t then if you happen to see me I will make you sorry you didn’t have the simple common sense to care about your own health or the welfare of your family, friends and loved ones.

More than anything not wearing a helmet is fucking selfish. Every single cyclist who thinks too good for a helmet, you better rethink your life buddy. When you are lying in a fucking heap of red oozing flesh, pieces of fucking brain pouring out of your head where you staved it in on a car window that side swiped, be happy that  your fucking hair looks great, and that you don’t look a twat in one of those silly cycle helmets. Be thankful that when they have your fucking funeral and your Mum is crying over coffin she can take FUCKING solace in your hair looking so FUCKING good. Be fucking happy that you didn’t spend those few fucking minutes wasted buying a cycle helmet for £20 that you could spend on fucking blow and booze instead. Well done, well done indeed. I Applaud you for caring about everyone and putting everyone before your own vanity. You F.U.C.K.

To put this in perspective. My sister had a friend some years ago who came to visit us on his bike. He cycled out, saw my sister and then after visiting cycled back to his house. On the way he was hit by a car and put into a Coma. He’s been in that ever since. He’s never come out. He’s a fucking vegetable in a Hospital. He’ll never be anything else. Now I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be like that if he could speak for himself now. But he can’t.

The thing that really, really gets me is this. When you talk to a cyclist who doesn’t wear a helmet, and in Bristol which is a cycling City I would estimate the majority or around 50% of cyclists don’t wear helmets - When you talk to them, they look at you as if you said something offensive. They don’t want to fucking know, they don’t want to be reminded of their mortality. However the problem is, this isn’t making a cup of tea and some slices of toast, this is cycling a fucking two wheeled tin fucking contraption on a tarmac inches away from steel monsters speeding down the road at 50 miles an hour.

Put it like this, when a bloke fucks his girlfriend he has fucking common sense to put a helmet on his cock (a condom) to catch any accidents. After all it only needs to go wrong once. So you got the common sense to stick a helmet on your dick, protect the brain that does the thinking downstairs, but you refuse to fucking have the common decency to wear a fucking helmet upstairs?

YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCK, WEAR A FUCKING HELMET THEN MAYBE, JUST FUCKING MAYBE I’ll HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOU.